Increase Your Interactivity and Productivity by Holding Hands

December 4, 2009 · Filed under abandonment, athlete, inspiration, interactivity, internet, keynote speaker, motivation, networking, olympic, overcome, physical pain, productivity · Tagged communication, courage, creativity, determination, dreams, hope, inspiration, interactivity, motivation, people, productivity, self help, social networking

Ok…my lesson from the past few days w/my good friend Doctor Mark Cheng is how I can multiply effective interactivity and productivity by ‘hand-holding.’ Sound strange? That’s what I thought at first!

First of all…I never really had anyone holding MY hand while growing up. So the concept is completely foreign to me! Yet…I can definitely see it’s value…especially as my goal is to reach out and help others achieve goals and happiness!

Can you imagine how great it would be to multiply YOUR results from YOUR interactions?

Hand-holding is a tool in interacting w/others. I have found that there are times as a Motivational Speaker, that I have not really ‘reached’ all of my audience members. So I’m constantly working on improving upon that. Dr. Cheng helped me understand an easy way to do this, simply by making sure to make that all important ‘connection’ w/each person in my audience by tying THIER personal experience and emotion into MY personal experience and emotion.

By tying an individuals own experience in with mine, it makes it easier for each person to truly relate and connect with what I am saying. This way, it’s as if each person is holding my hand and walking with me as I share my journey and experience with them.

‘Hand-holding,’ is a step by step process in helping your associate, your customer, your client, your partner, your loved one get in touch with their own personal experience/feeling so that they can then relate to the power of your story, and/or the benefit of your product.

For example, I have found that it’s our hopes and dreams that can keep us going in the toughest of times.

Have you ever experienced a moment or several, where you felt ‘abandoned’ or ‘un-loved? Perhaps there was a time when you were a child, that your mom or dad was late in picking you up from school or practice? And with each passing moment, you got more anxious and embarrassed. Where, one by one, all of the other kids were picked up and went off smiling and laughing, while you just stood there waiting? And the longer you waited, the more your feeling of rejection, anger, hopelessness increased. Now of course, I’m sure you did eventually get picked up, or you walked home, and probably forgot all about it a few days later. But, what if that happened to you over and over again? What if you kept expecting for your parent to show up, but they never did? Wouldn’t you feel even more hurt?

Now, take that feeling that you experienced, multiply it by 100 and you might have an idea about how I felt, so many times back when I was in that Orphanage. Here’s one particular story from my childhood, after my mother abandoned myself and my two brothers when I was three, and we were placed in the Masonic Home for Children, where we stayed for the next nine long years…

“My mother did finally get back in touch with us, and would occasionally write or call, with promises that she would come visit or come and take us out of there to live with her. I remember the rare times when I would receive a letter during mail call, and I would gallop all around the dormitory, waving that letter high in the air.

And then there was the time that I actually got to talk with her on the telephone, and she said she’d be coming to get us the next day to go spend the summer with her. I was so excited, I couldn’t’ sleep all night long. The next morning I convinced my housemother to let me wait for her on the front steps.

So shortly after breakfast I sat down on the cold stone steps…waiting, watching, hoping. As each car entered the long circular driveway, my heart would beat a little faster, and I would shield my eyes from the glare of the sun and try and make out who it was. As each car left with their excited, laughing children…my heart would sink a little lower.

Finally the bell rang for lunch, and I pulled myself to my feet, and joined the small line heading to the cafeteria. “Perhaps later” I said to myself! After lunch, my Housemother pulled me aside and told me that no one would be coming to pick me up, and that I would remain at the home, once again, throughout the long summer vacation.

Late that afternoon, I sat in the deep grass and clover on the playground, beneath a huge sweet smelling Magnolia tree. The gentle sun was fading as I watched the few kids that were left, playing a game of jump rope.

As I thought about that morning, the familiar pain of abandonment wrapped its tight hold around my heart, and a feeling of hopelessness spread through my soul. Just then, the bell sounded for us to gather in our groups and head inside the building, so I automatically wiped my face and walked across the immense lawn towards the front entrance with it’s huge stone steps.

I walked up the steps with the other girls, then paused for a moment before entering the door. I turned around to take one last breath of the fresh sweet air before heading inside to the dark, musty smelling dormitories.

It was then that I noticed…there on the horizon in the gathering twilight of evening, just above the tree-line…one single star glittering brightly. Quickly, I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers, and whispered to myself…“Starlight, star-bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might…have the wish I wish tonight. And I made that wish…just before the hall monitor, smacked me on the backside with a ruler, and sent me inside.

It was a wish that I repeated, year after year. And it was a wish that gave me a glimmer of hope…even in my darkest hour…for as a child, I believed in the power of dreams, wishes and stars. And my wish was for loving family, a place to call home, and a happier tomorrow.”

Well, that wish upon a star, that ‘dream’ kept me going for many, many years! And that’s why I KNOW about how powerful our hopes and dreams are to our sense of well being. They are the light at the end of the tunnel. They are the candle in the darkness of night. They are our salvation when we have nothing else to turn to. So, please. Whatever you do, do not abandon your hopes and your dreams!